January 1999
(written shortly after coming down, annotations added later)
I consumed the extract of about 15g of Iboga root bark powder, (a fairly light dose), yesterday morning at about 5am. I record some of what it showed me, as I now interpret it. [I started with about 25g of Gabonese t. iboga rootbark, of strength about 4.5% ibogaine, made an alcohol and water extract and consumed about 2/3 of it]
I do this knowing most will regard it as either insanity of just plain nonsense.
(It may be significant that I read William Tiller’s, “Science and Human Transformation”, last year.)[Tiller’s “simulator” hypothesis is closely described below]
One of the rather striking things I believe I learned was that our human physical body is, in reality, a highly ingenious and very amusing trick of the light. It’s essentially the 3D holographic construct, (a hologram), that results from the interraction of laser light with holographic plates at a multi-dimensional level.
Furthermore, there are in fact a whole array of higher “spiritual” bodies, (some of which are immortal), superposed on top of it in multi-dimensional space. The reason we are not really aware of these most of the time is down to the ingenuity of the design. We’re not really supposed to be.
The illusion we start to maintain from birth, therefore, is that we are solely physical.
The idea of an outside world and inner physical space that we typically conceptualize in our daily life is, therefore, not very accurate. (If you think about it, everything we sense exists only inside what we conceive of as our head.) Our World is merely a projection. It appears this way because it’s designed to appear this way.
The reason we’re not aware of this most of the time is because the human physical body and its’ existence is, in fact, a sophisticated learning tool for our higher spiritual bodies. If we were ordinarily aware of our higher spiritually bodies, the learning tool would not function.
As a people, therefore, we are here to learn. It is the act of learning that justifies our continued existence.
These statements therefore posed for me something that, (for today, at least), appears as a moral dilemma.
Is it ethical to administer Ibogaine, given that, it has, (for me), weakened most of the functions my physical body was intended for?
[One thing I didn’t report at the time about this ibogaine experience was that the “seat of my conscious awareness” rose to the immortal domain for about 2 hours. Around 3-4 hours in, I was aware of a powerful sensation of “rising”, similar to other drug experiences I’d had years before. There were powerful sensations of divine love and ecstasy, then suddenly I had an absolute knowledge that I was immortal. By this I mean that a part of me, and presumably anyone else, is immortal, and I had somehow “tuned in” to this frequency. The experience so astounded me, I’m told I was literally raving about it a few hours later when a friend of mine dropped around to visit me.]
Questions from H. Lotsof – Can you provide us with some of the physical effects of the 15 gm of T. iboga root bark extract? Was there ataxia?
I couldn’t get uprignt for about 30 hours.
Was there nausea?
Yup. Constantly for 30 hours. I didn’t take an anti-nauseant, I didn’t want to. I threw up immediately the couple of times I tried to drink water. I remember being amazed that people undergoing the Bwiti initiation could handle it. I guess those of us bought up to believe in heaven and hell get to simultaneously experience both.
How long did the effects last? Could you determine distinct stages of ibogaine activity?
Well, divine experiences and the realization that a significant part of my overall being was in fact immortal, (the healing energy released as a result of this absolute realization is phenonomal!), didn’t occur until about 6 hours in. But, overall I don’t think there were stages.
What has been the effect on your sleep cycle?
I can’t really say yet. I think it’s done me an awful lot of good generally. [little or no effect on sleep cycle later observed]
And, anything else you might think of?
The experience was radically different from what I expected. Although I’d tried to be open-minded prior to ingestion, I guess I was expecting to re-experience a lot of childhood-type material – none of which arrived. I certainly didn’t think I’d get the extent of religious stuff I got. I realize now that Iboga just gave me what it wanted using the material it had to hand. If visions of divine entities suit it’s purpose, then that’s what you get. [I had been up all night previous to taking the iboga extract, in a somewhat emotional state. A lot of emotional problems relating to my separation from my mother at birth were making themselves known and I decided that, no matter what I had to go through, I wanted to be rid of them. I got up about half past four and boiled down the iboga extract I’d made the week before. I strained it through cloth and drank it while it was still warm. I should have allowed to stand for 12 hours and drawn the liquid away from the remaining sediment. This would have likely reduced considerably the intense nausea I had for thirty hours]
I also should mention that I have been experimenting with taking low doses of the HCl over the past month. I didn’t feel this was significant, however. I didn’t feel “primed”.
What was the exact extraction process you used?
The vodka, wine and lemon juice one posted to the list about a month ago. Followed pretty much as written.
I might try taking 500mg or so of the HCl in a couple of months. Though I did get a feeling during the “trip” that I’d already been shown more than enough to get me through this lifetime.
PS – I’ll include a brief list of some of the stuff I was kind of “shown”, in case anyone’s interested. Like I said before, I don’t think any of it applies to anyone else.
immortality/the unconditional love of the Christ consciousness/an old TV series or film called “Journey to the centre fo the earth”, I think Doug McClure was in it[not the vision]/John Lennon was a reincarnation of a major religious figure[though never much liked him]/the illusion of matter/the Big Bang not really important/the idea that human evolution has been largely directed by animals living in areas where psychedelic plants can be eaten by indigenous species irrelevant/our current level of scientific knowledge insignificant/stop trying to tell people subtle energy is important, they’ll find out when they’re meant to, and you’re only being self-indulgent anyway/as number of dimensions increases, so does order, for very high n [n=number of dimensions] there is Unity/the holographic plate lattice correlates given in chap 2 of W. Tiller’s “Science & Human Transformation” referring to the divine creation of human physical existence [level one simulator] are correct/God is Love/
[a repetitive theme for me through this and later iboga or ibogaine experiences is the sensation of “tuning into” some form of broadcast being beamed at the earth. It seems to start about 10-20 hours in. The “transmission” is usually only sensed mentally, though there are sometime visual and auditory elements. The theme seems to be an explanation of the true nature of the human condition and, in later episodes (!), the idea that humanity is currently in intense danger. Notably, that we have been evolved way beyond our natural state by some “evil invasionary force” who are doing this for some acutely negative purpose. It’s not the kind of thing I’m usually into, but it does seem to be a repetitive theme of the later part of my iboga experiences].